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Beautiful Sexy Upgrade

Dear Readers,
LETTER OF UPGRADE.
I, Warri Girl wishes to inform my readers and the general public that there has been an upgrade in this blog.
The upgrade is as follows, this blog has acquired a domain name and would no longer be attached to the above address.
Thanks.

Oya, formality over. Let me explain, I know most people are wondering right now what I mean by “domain name”. E mean say I don get my own http://www.com.

Warri Girl’s blog is now http://www.warrigirl.com and no longer http://www.warrigirl.wordpress.com.

This is realy beautiful, can you imagine me, small shenkele rat now a website owner. Me self, I shock, I can’t believe.

Me-vwe(me in Urhobo), now the Omote-Okpako(first daughter) of Warri. Yes ooo, am the first daughter of Warri, just go to goggle and type “warrigirl” and am sure to appear first. *dancing azonto*

Sexy ain’t it. Now, when I go on a date, I would blink my lashes at the guy and say am a blogger, check me out at http://www.warrigirl.com instead of long http://www.warrigirl.wordpress.com, which the guy go forget immediately. Woah! owing my own site is really a big turn on, if I bang now, na die the guy dey.hahahaha

Readers, without you, there would have been no website, so I encourage you to enjoy my last post on wordpress and take a ride with me to http://www.warrigirl.com.

You would definitely notice the upgrade when you get there. Now, the referee don blow, the match don start. More intersting post coming your way from me.

I dey expect all of una der, today and tomorrow for all my daily post.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

*singing*, Baba God, I believe you, I believe everything when you say, as you talk am ooo, you go do am ooo, Baba God iyeeeee, I believe you.

Full Confidence

I happen not to be a great fan of Nollywood movies. During the past two days I have watched two different movies starring Mercy Johnson. The first, Dumebi the Dirty Girl, and the second, Thanks for Coming. Nollywood and their funny names.

Watching these movies, I imagined God’s mood when he created Mercy J, he must have been in His Highest. She has the most perfect natural body I have ever seen. Yes I say natural because she is a perfect comparison to Nicky Minaj, who we all know is all fake and plastic.

Those of you thinking, Lesbian mood in activation, pause that thought. Am only admiring God’s creation.

While watching the movies, I thought to myself, if only I had slimmer sides, bigger ass, and smaller waist maybe I would have been extremely-extremely hot and sexy, but my face for worwor DIE.

You see, everyone of us are special in our own different ways. Mercy J seems to have an extraordinary body with a face not so pretty.

Me, I happen to be chubby right from birth and am very confident about it because I have some really good features. I am ENDOWED, I Balance wella. If someone says “You dey fat ooo”, I reply “Na evidence of good living”. End of discussion .

I have full confidence in myself, I never forget the fact that am unique, because readers once you lose your confidence you lose yourself.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Proverb Award 2012

The Proverb Award 2012 was held last night in my room, with paper, biro and me Warri Girl as the Chief Judge. Here is a summary of the event.

1st runner up:
OKRO NOR DEY BIG PASS E OWNER.
This proverb was the runner up after much deliberation. It relates to all does Smallies when all off a sudden, they just start forming big and being disrespectful.

Typical example is a young girl that just started having sex, omo nobody reach her again o, she have tasted the forbidden fruit. You would notice that a young girl that use to greet an older girl “Good morning” before, would see the older girl, flip her hair back and walk pass. Yes na, una don become mates, you are doing the same thing so you are equals.

Its the guys I pity pass, a girl that used to say “Bros good morning” all of a sudden she would see this Bros and say hi, hello, or wats up. Hahahahahahah

I know what am saying, when my youngest sister starts having sex, I would definitely know because to send her to get me water, she go roll eyes,lol. I did it to my elder sister,my immediate younger sister did it to me, and our last born would do it to her as well.

But when strong thing jam all this Smallies for front, that’s when they would know indeed that “Okro nor dey big pass e owner, no matter how big,it must be plucked”. Because whatever you are experiencing in life someone has already experienced it before you. There is always someone a step ahead of you and one day you must definitely bend and ask for advise or help.

And the,
Winner of the Proverb Award 2012..is,
BUTTERFLY CALL HIMSELF BIRD.
This is for all the Wannabes, trying to form gbogbo bis gal by force. Your mama dey fry akara for Enehren junction, you dey use bold 20, brazillian 100inches, dey scatter anyhow for bbm – Sheraton Chilling, Dubai Tinz. You be big butterfly because you dey fly, you feel say your wings strong reach bird.

Even if you doing waka and paroles, am not judging you oooo (before R_nz Girls Assocation come and arrest me, you know 9ja Police can arrest for anything, even the loss of toothpick).

All am saying, is that, if you are doing waka, let it show at home. Move that woman from the one room face me-I face you apartment that you are all living in and take her away from that fire. Because no matter what CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.And this is still the greatest proverb of all time,it has won uncountable awards, that’s why I didn’t put it among the nominess because, its a Legend *smiling*.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Date Gone Bad, But GRACE Prevailed

Yawning…….., am up and thanks be to God I woke up hale and hearty with swollen eyes and stale alcohol breath.

Yesterday, I was off to see a friend on a bike.How many of you know the cool feeling on top a bike on the express road? I love the feeling, makes me feel like Rose in titanic when she stood at the edge of the ship, the wind tossing her hair with Jack supporting her at the back -only that in my case its the iron at the back of the bike that’s supporting me,lol.

The bike man was blowing at an average speed, me I was enjoying the natural AC, all of a sudden I noticed the breeze was reducing, that’s when I raised my eyes from my phone and saw that there was a large crowd gathered just before Otokutu juntion.

Trust warri na, Aproko kill us, before I could say Jack, the bike man stopped and parked. We came down and I asked “wetin happen” and someone said “na accident ooo”. I looked around, I didn’t see any car that looked like what was involved in an accident, been curious I asked ” but bros wait o, where the moto” and the guy replied, “naim dey for buttom for der”. That’s when I looked down at the edge of the road and I was shooked by what I saw, the car had jumped off the road down a slope at the edge of the road and was upside down, compressed and covered by thick bushes.

I continued my aproko and started asking various bike men questions. Note: Bike men in warri are a good source of gist.

One of the bike men told me that it was a guy and a girl going out on a date, in the car and he pointed to the girl and the guy.

Omo, when I saw the girl I knew that this was a date gone bad, she wore an orange short, a multicoloured half top, green waist belt, and yellow flats(nor be small colour blocking). She fixed a very long weavon that flowed way down and stopped under her ass, and I was like nor b small somthing ooo, this chick must have really prepared for this date and now see how everything turned out.

How they got out of that car,me I don’t know. But to God be the Glory they weren’t injured and I just tried to imagine how bad this date could be.

First of all, almost 30 bike men don touch the girl body finish with ” dooh, eyah, kpele, thank God ooo” and she wasn’t fully covered. Then the guy just sitting at the side of the road just seeing his honda compressed and ruined, his millions down the drain, but what if it wasn’t his own car self, maybe he burrowed it, that one na big trouble.

All this I was just reasoning when I got back on my bike, and I was like, chai! this is a date gone really bad but at least they are alive. That’s Grace, He came and He saved.

And thank God say the girl face nor disfigure, she for hate her self, because for worwor boy to get Girlfriend nor hard but for worwor girl, hmmmmm………I rest my case.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Alcohol In Me

Hey peeps, I just into my house now around 9pm, and am fucking tipsy. I really did a lot of mixing and as warri people say, ” na mixsy-mixsy dey quick high person”.

I had a bottle of red wine, two bottles of big heniken and two bottles of simrnoff, so pardon me if they are errors in this post.

Right now, all I can think of is SLEEP! and I really had a good article to share with you about ” A Date Gone Bad” . Don’t worry tomorrow when my eyes don clear well I would share it with you.

But for now, am enjoying this tipsy feeling. I dey one side, and its cool and relaxing. This is where I draw the curtain for the night.

If you like judge me, say I high, na you know, me I had fun today and enjoyed myself, thanks to my Tee *hugs*. I told you from the beginning am a Warri Girl, so now am sharing my today life.

Pray, that I don’t have hangover tomorrow, so I can share the article of ” A Date Gone Bad” with you.

Goodnight Readers,

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Take Banana

” Take banana till you go yoooo, take banana till you go yoooo”.
Song Title: Take Banana
Artiste: D’Prince

Dear readers, majority of you already know what the song implies, but for thoes Bro. Peters and Sis. Marthas forming they don’t know, I would explain.

To me oooo, Warri Girl, it means B to the J (oya add up BJ). Stop squeezing your face like you don’t know what am talking about, no need for the holy act, its just you and your screen.

Back to the song, all my ladies, I know you must have had some bananas ; maybe a finger, some fingers, or a bunch. Am not judging*winks*.

I believe the guys DIE, they are ever ready to offer the banana. The offering varies among them, some offer the BIG AGRIC banana, some the SMALL TINY english specie, and other MIXED breed (this the safe zone, not too big or too small). Anyone ooo, so far banana is offered, lol.

Omo D’Prince must be endowed ooo, just see some words from the verse 2 of the song, ” she whispered to me say-say wetin I ge-ge-ge-get , I pulled her closer cause I know wetin I get”.

Hahahahaha, am just a normal girl, saying the truth, we all love the banana, whether we the ones giving or receiving.

Am still laughing, the public holiday is making me feel like today is a saturday, because nobody is rushing anywhere. On a normal monday I would be doing the job that most nigerian unemployed graduates do, visiting job sites.

Come to think of it, I wonder *thinking* what some people are doing indoors right now, maybe taking bananas and having some pump actions.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

Guys Against Underwears

So you all heard Kim gave Kanye a LAMBORGHINI,yeah I know what you thinking -old gist.

Am not about to blog on Kimye, but about the Nigerian guys who sent the Broadcast of “Girls we are no longer accepting boxers, briefs and singlets as gifts “. Just because Kim gave Kanye a car.

Hey Mr X, you trying to compare your girlfriend with Kim Kardashian of all people, before you do that, why don’t you compare yourself with Kanye. He takes her to different awards shows , travel trips and all those gbogboyen-gbogboyen (good things).

Why do u expect something out of the ordinary? When you always carry your girl to WINNAS, CORNER-LORDS , CHI-CHI’s BAR, MISHAI, YABASIRA etc. Am not saying local tripz aren’t fun,but once in a while,give your girl a special treat.

Take her places such as Unites States, The Carribeans, Paris, London, Dubia, even Calabar self. But don’t do this every month o, except maybe you are Dangote, lol.

Just do this, and am telling you would definately get more than UNDIES. You might even get the Lamborghini self,lol (but if your girlfriend is presently unemployed like me) you would get a realy expensive gift but realise at the end you the one settling the bill. Hahahahahahaha

Don’t mind me ooo, am just having fun and sharing my views. I believe that the monetary value behind a gift is irrelevant, the feelings and emotions are what’s important. Gifts symbolizes and expresses love, care and affection.

N.B: Most of you guys know that without your girlfriends, you would probably have been using two boxers for a whole year. Lwkmd

Stay Sharp,
Warri Girl.

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